Beautifully Broken
by babydon'tletmefall
Summary: As he's looking down at her closed eyes, he wonders if what they're doing is wrong. And he thinks, yeah, maybe it is. But in that instant, he decides he doesn't care. Duncan/Gwen drabble, because I had to do it sometime.


**_True: Yeah, I know, I know. Now before all of you DxC fans get your guns out... I have to say, I too have fallen into the DunGwen craze, ignoring the horrible mash up name, I think it's actually pretty cool. I hate how they got together, and I don't really know if I'll ever like it on the show, but it can be cool. :)_**

**_But anyway, this drabble goes backwards, kind of. The first and the last part are together. And the second part comes after the third part, and the third part comes after the forth part. So bleh._**

**_Review, and I might continue writing for the DunGwen fandom. xD Okay, that's not necessarily true, but review anyway._**

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><p><em>Summary: As he's looking down at her closed eyes, he wonders if what they're doing is wrong. And he thinks, yeah, maybe it is. But in that instant, he decides he doesn't care. DuncanGwen drabble, because I had to do it sometime. _

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><p><em>You're trying to make me feel guilty and ashamed<br>But I just can't, baby, for I'm not to blame  
>You didn't want me, a man knows the signs<br>It's your fault I'm cheating, but the pleasure's all mine_

As he's looking down at their closed eyes, he wonders if what they're doing is wrong. And he thinks, yeah, maybe it is.

Her teal and black hair is spread across his bare chest, and he almost wants to cry. Because he knows that the hair should be brown.

But it isn't.

Her signature blue lipstick is too far gone _(and he knows that it's spread all over his neck, but he doesn't look, just in case) _and in it's place is left a naturally soft, pink color. They're chapped and swollen, and there's just a touch of the dried wine from last night on the corner of her mouth, and he wants nothing more than to kiss it all off.

Her eyes open immediately, as if felt that she was being stared at. _(they were onyx, thank the lord, and that made him feel just a little bit less guilty)_

He decided that she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

She's about to tell him off, but he kisses her _(harshly)_ before she can respond.

He thinks if they don't talk about it, than maybe they can pretend that it never happened.

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><p>"I <em>hate<em> you, I _hate_ you, I_ hate_ you."

He doesn't know how many times he's heard that from her in his entire life, he lost count a long time ago. But now, he thinks that it might sting more than it did all of those times combined.

Because it's not the words. It's not the tone that would make anyone shiver. She's eerily quite, and she's never quiet, not with him. He's so used to hearing her telling him to shut up, he thinks she sounds like a completely different woman.

It's not her posture. She's hunched over like she usually is, because she's never been the type for formalities _(he thinks he loves that about her, but he's not sure. He's not sure about anything anymore) _and her hands are balled into fists, making her knuckles even whiter than the rest of her skin. There are cresents in her palms from her perfectly black, manicured nails. He still remembered the day that she told the woman she wanted black nails with purple skulls. He wasn't sure what he enjoyed more, the woman's expression, or the confident smirk on her face _(or the way those black and purple nails would dig into his back)_

It's her eyes. They're black and bold, and beautiful, but they're also betrayed, angry, depressed. And he's not sure if it's the fact that she's actually showing him these emotions, or the fact that he was the one that caused them, but he knows that looking into those eyes, his heart just broke a little bit.

"Gwen-"

"Don't you _Gwen _me! Don't you pretend that these last three months have meant _nothing_ to you! Don't you pretend that _I_ meant nothing to you..." And she's whimpering now, and it breaks his heart just a little bit more.

And before he knows what he's doing, he's pulling her blue lips to his own. And his hands are on her face, just trying to keep her from pulling away. She doesn't react, but he loves it anyway.

Then they're kissing and it's rough and perfect, and he tries to ignore the guilt that's building up in the back of his mind. _(a cheater Duncan, a cheater, cheater-)_

But those thoughts are interuppted when he feels her purple and black nails dig into his scalp, pulling at his hair, in a tangle of fury and passion.

"I hate you, Duncan, I hate you-"

"I know."

And he thinks this just might be what love feels like.

No matter how wrong it is.

_(and suddenly, it's DuncanandGwen and GwenandDuncan again)_

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><p>The four of you are sitting together, and she thinks that this may be the most awkward moment of her life.<p>

Because she's looking at you, and you're looking at her, and you're trying to ignore the fact that Courtney and Trent are too busy staring at each other _(but trying, and failing, to not make it too painfully obvious) _to notice that you're all ready to leave.

And right now, she's trying to ignore the urge to push her plate of spaghetti _(which is now really just sauce and mashed up noodles. Because she always plays with her food when she's nervous) _into Courtney's lap.

"We have an annoucement to make."

Dear lord, she's not sure how more dramatic Courtney could be, but she tries to ignore the fact and just smiles.

But underneath the table, she's still pulling at that napkin, each time, ripping it into smaller and smaller pieces. And she smirks, because she's imagining that napkin as Courtney's face. You glare at her softly, because you know what she's doing. And you know what she's thinking. _(because you know her better than she knows herself)_

Courtney nudges you, and suddenly, that elbow to the gut makes the mash up of butterflies in your stomach want to come right back up. The entire restraunt is turned to you, and you can't just look at that woman across the table and tell her you're in love with her. So you smile as well.

"We're getting married..."

Everyone's shocked, and everyone is happy, but when you look at her expression, you realize the two of you are the only ones that aren't.

"I_ hate_ you."

_(it's okay, Gwen, I think I might hate me too.)_

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><p>He's holding her in his arms, and they're the picture of love.<p>

He's stroking her hair, and she's cuddled into his chest. She's murmuring sweet nothings into his shirt.

He loves it.

He loves this.

He loves her.

But they've never admitted it to each other, because it's too hard. Because through the passionate kisses, through the tears and the fights, he knows the two of them could never truly be together. Because he's in love with two women, two people that he loves more than anything. Although, one of them doesn't even know it.

"We're cheating, Duncan." Her eyes are closed and her breathing slow, and he loves the way her dark lashes contrast against her pale skin. "I'm not going to be a cheater anymore. We need to stop this."

"I'll end it. I'll end things with her. I'll break up with her, I promise. Tomorrow. And then we can be together... forever and ever."

She believes him, and it hurts him to know that he's lying.

"I love you, Duncan." She holds out her pinky, and he wraps his own in hers. "Forever and ever."

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><p>"You promised, Duncan! You promised!" Tears are running down her face now, and his heart breaks. "I can't believe you! I can't believe you! You... You jerk!"<p>

He pulls him to her and he's kissing her forehead, trying to pretend that he's not dying inside. "I know, baby, I know..." Now his chest is getting abused by her small fists, and he almost chuckles, because she's never been able to truly hurt him.

Finally, she collapses in her arms. And he's kissing her, but she's not kissing back.

Sobs are echoing through her small apartment, and he wants nothing more than to comfort her. So he picks her up _(she doesn't complain) _and he brings her to her too small room, and suddenly, everything might be okay.

But it won't be, and they both know that.

And as he's looking down at her closed eyes, he wonders if what they're doing is wrong. And he thinks, yeah, maybe it is. But in that instant, he decides he doesn't care.


End file.
